I hope this app will help me.

I found the difference between love & lust when i fell in love with her. She also asked me whether I have feelings for her. I replied that she should find someone better. (I always consider myself that i am not good enough for any woman.) Now I regret it. She was too good & innocent. I felt that its not good for her that she ends up with someone with a hidden personality as bad as mine. My friends told me she is giving me too many signs but i avoided them as i thought why would she fall for a nobody like me. She is too far from me in every aspects, the background, money, smarts, beauty and personality. Also, me, who is given a title "Introvert", doesnt speak much , such a hopeless person in matters of women, to an extent that my colleagues especially girls thought that I am Gay because i am never seen hanging ouy with woman but always with men. (I had only friends who r guys because approaching women terrifies me. (I would even start to stutter.) I am having a very low selfesteem to begin with. Sometimes i wished that i would disappear at an instant like a thanos snap along with othrrs' memories of mine. Like I never existed. Even if i want to ask her out, I would never do it fearing rejection. (To protect my already low self esteem) Now I am having her thoughts more than that i have for porn. In such a way that ever time i relapse her thoughts will fill me with regrets. I dont think i'll come across another woman like her in future. But even if there is a negligible chance, I should not have any second thoughts at that time. & this is my journal for today(Day 0) Thank you for patient reading.